The verdict is in. A Shot at Love’s Fab Four are Bobby, Amanda, Ryan, and every lesbian’s favorite firefighter Dani. Let’s give the last episode a recap. With only a few contestants remaining, Tila Tequila packed her bags to meet each of her would be in-laws. As if meeting one set of parents was not enough, she had to go out and impress four of them. Any other girl would be quite nervous at the mere thought, but not our girl Tila. The MySpace queen had no qualms whatsoever introducing herself as bisexual. I think she may have even been hoping for shocked faces, and oh she got plenty of that.

Mom walks out and makes up

The first stop was Bobby’s home in Worcester, NY. Apparently, none of the parents of the contestants know about the show’s format. When Bobby tells them that he’s part of the final four, consisting of “two guys and, uhm, two girls,” confusion was written all over their faces. Tila tried to be helpful by saying, “I’m just trying to figure out if I want to be with just men or women, and, um, that’s why we’re here …” Mom was clearly NOT impressed. At one point, Bobby’s mom even walked out. Ouch. But ever joyful Tila recovers, and by the end of her visit, she and mom have become gal-pals. Tila’s really got some charms.

Daddy is way cool

Next was Amanda’s town in Pacific City, Oregon, where we meet her very interesting parents. This time, Tila’s I’m-bisexual-shock-and-awe tactic failed to deliver. When she popped the question, dad was incredulous. “Shocks us?” Amanda’s cool parents exploded with hearty laughs. Dad even gave this wise comment: “My daughter being gay and bringing home a girlfriend is controversial now, but one day it will be the same as a woman bringing home a man.” Dad rocks!

Warning: Sexual deviants are not welcome here

Ryan’s parents were the exact opposite. Think ultra-conservative rich Republicans. Fetched by Ryan in his Mercedes, Tila clearly thought she was a fish out of water as they got to the driveway of Ryan’s family mansion. Dad was a dictator, mom was a prude, and the sister was a bitch. Tila was sliced and diced, but managed to pull herself together. Asked for what he thought of Tila, dad said, “Her values are different from my values. For him to bring something like this home is not right.” Yeah, that went well.

Tila shakes her bon-bon for Grandma

Last, and definitely the most fun, were Dani’s families. Plural because she has her firefighter family and her biological family. Tila visited the fire station and met with the boys, even giving them an impromptu pole dancing performance. Hot. That pole will never look the same to them. When Tila comes over Dani’s house, she meets Dani’s Grandma, mom, aunt, and several cousins. They are all protective of Dani and tells Tila that they only want her to be happy. How lucky is Dani to have this family? Tila, ever the life of the party, proceeds to entertain Grandma by giving her a lap dance. Now my grandma would have gotten a heart attack. The funny part is Dani’s Grandma goes along with it and encourages Tila. “Come over here and bounce on me! Put that little butt on this knee!” I love you, Grandma!

At the end of the show, Tila gives the three keys to Bobby, Dani, and Amanda. Ryan, who feels insulted, is too dense to get how his family got him the boot. Next week, A Shot at Love goes to Cancun!